


Sad Dreams

by Bamboosticks



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Crying, Depression, Rest of aqours is mentioned but very briefly, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, rated teen bc of suicide stuff, this is a vent lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27374059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bamboosticks/pseuds/Bamboosticks
Summary: Riko hates herself, it's as simple as that.
Kudos: 6





	Sad Dreams

Riko hates herself. It’s as simple as that. There is not a single thing desirable about her that she can think of. Her face was weird-looking, her eyes were an old color, and she was sloppy and slow at Aqours dances. She has no motivation to compose songs. Everything from her looks to her personality was everything you wouldn’t want in a person.

She felt so bad. So, so bad for Aqours, having to deal with her. Having to deal with how annoying she was and how many times she had to practice. How slowly she composed music.

_ Why do they even want me around? _

Cuddled up with her dog, she couldn’t stop the negative thoughts that took over. The hot tears that slipped out of her eyes and down her face wet the sheets under her. She bit her lip to stop herself from making any noise, she didn’t want to alert her mom. She moved her hand slowly to wipe the tears, not wanting to disturb her dog. 

The more tears she wiped away, the more negative thoughts she had.

You. Oh god, You. She felt so bad. She doesn’t understand how You even tolerates her. She almost ruined You and Chika’s friendship, yet You treats her so nicely. Something she certainly doesn’t deserve. You laughs and jokes with her, hugs her, hangs out with. Something friends would do. Something she isn’t worthy of. She’s not worthy of You’s time at all, yet You gives her it.

You must hate her. There is no way she doesn’t. The way she hangs out with her and treats her nicely must be an act. It’s not something she’s done anything to deserve, anyways. 

_ Why does she spend time with me. _

Chika comes to mind. Chika, who’s so happy, so nice, treats her nicely too. But, why? She’s annoying, right? She’s clingy to Chika. Chika must be annoyed. So why, WHY hasn’t Chika said something yet? She doesn’t understand why Chika is so interested in her. She’s so boring, uninteresting. Chika is the opposite. Chika is unique, amazing, ambitious. She’s none of those. 

Chika says to her, multiple times, that they are best friends, that her and You will always be Chika’s best friends, always reminding her. But the title doesn’t fit her. The title isn’t justified, not with how annoying she must be. Not with the fact that she’s terrible. That title should go to You and only You. Not some mess like her.

_ She must hate you a lot. _

She provides nothing. Not to her friendships. Not to her mom. Not to the world.

_ I should kill myself. _

The thought repeats itself over and over again in her. It’s the only thing that occupies it. She thinks,  _ Maybe it’s right.  _

She thinks that because it is. She’s useless. She has no purpose in life. Her voice is bad, it sounds so poor. Her personality is so bland. Her looks are so bad. She’s a terrible teammate and an even worse friend. Yoshiko, Mari, Dia, and the rest of Aqours must hate her, think so low of her and she wouldn’t blame them. 

She can’t tell them anything. Huh, how funny. She can’t even trust them with how she feels. They would probably leave her if she told them. She knows all of them have their own problems, she doesn’t want to put her pathetic issues on them. She doesn’t need the help, she could figure it out herself.

Her tears came out quicker and she held her fist up to her mouth to stop her from sobbing. She whimpered a bit, sniffling up the snot that coming down her nose.

She feels so hopeless, so apathetic, so  _ empty _ . 

She hugs her dog closer, wondering if even he loves her. She’s not even sure anymore. 

She’s not sure of anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short vent fic.


End file.
